By Carol Baldwin, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter
Nykera Brown was found dead in a home on Avenue P South on Nov. 15, 2022. At the time of her death, she had been living in Saskatoon for about six months. Before that, she lived in Wakaw. Nykera Brown was 20 years old.
More than one hundred walkers showed up at Howard Coad School in Saskatoon on Saturday, June 29th, 2024, to raise awareness for domestic abuse and homicide in the city. Escorted by police and accompanied by Saskatoon Chief of Police Cam McBride, the procession followed an indirect route to the Saskatoon Police Service Headquarters. Organized by Cathleen Balon, Nykera’s mother, and Andrea Naytowhow, whose niece, Melissa Bear, was murdered one year ago, the walk was to remember their loved ones and to call for change.
Naytowhow said there are too many things that are not being said, that are not being heard and it is time to break the silence and stop the violence. Balon shares that sentiment. “Enough is enough. Maybe finally they can hear us.”
Intimate partner violence and intimate partner homicide are not crimes of race, gender, or demographics. It is a crime of power and control, and Saskatchewan leads the nation in prevalence.
Justice Richard Danyliuk issued these statements during the sentencing in 2023 of Ranbir Dhull, convicted of second-degree murder in the killing of his former sister-in-law. “Saskatchewan men are leaders in Canada in solving their relationship problems through [the] use of violence. It is disgusting, it has to stop. It cannot be swept under the rug anymore. It is 2023, judges should not have to say that this is unacceptable. Yet I do, all the time. And I have grown weary. Saskatchewan. A province. A place that I love. Saskatchewan is a national leader in the incidence of domestic and intimate partner violence. What an absolute tragedy. How shameful. Shamefully, I say, in Saskatchewan the hard, simple fact is that men like to strike women.”
Jo-Anne Dusel, executive director of the Provincial Association of Transition Houses and Services of Saskatchewan (PATHS) spent two decades working at domestic violence shelters with women who were told the legal system could not protect them. “Here’s me as a shelter worker sitting across from a woman who’s terrified and [has] been told there’s nothing police can do,” she said. “Very often I would hear, ‘What? They won’t help me until he kills me?'”
Intimate partner violence, also known as domestic violence, is an escalating pattern of abuse where one partner in a relationship, past or present, controls the other through force, intimidation, or the threat of violence. Abuse comes in many forms.
· It is physical: slapping, punching, spitting, choking, pushing and any other acts which hurt your body.
· It is sexual: harassment, exploitation, rape, or any unwanted sexual touching. Even if you are intimate with your partner, NO is NO.
· It is emotional/psychological: name-calling, belittling, shaming, blaming, isolating, threatening to leave, threatening to kill themselves, causing you to feel as if you are “going crazy”, stalking, making unwanted repeated phone calls, texts or emails.
· It is financial/economic: withholding money, credit cards, and debit cards; withholding necessities like food or medicine, preventing you from working; sabotaging jobs; restricting you to an allowance.
· It is homophobic: threatening to “out” you to people who do not know your sexual orientation.
· It is immigration: using your immigration status or language barriers to control you.
· It is destructive acts: actual or threatened assault of your property or pets.
· It is spiritual: attacking or denying your religious or spiritual beliefs.
· It is any attempt to intimidate and control you.
A 2013 Canadian study, co-authored by Nadine Walthen and Harriet Macmillan, found that children who live in a home where intimate partner violence occurs are likely to experience a variety of negative effects. Children who witness Intimate Partner Violence are at a greater risk of suffering from feelings of guilt, hopelessness, depression, and unnaturally high levels of anxiety. They may experience difficulties in school (social or academic). They are at risk of having higher rates of sleeping and eating problems, temper tantrums, and aggression towards others. These negative effects may continue into adulthood and become part of an intergenerational cycle of violence. In addition, children exposed to IPV are more likely to experience violent dating and intimate relationships as adults, either as victims or perpetrators. Children may learn many unhealthy lessons by living in a home where intimate partner violence occurs. They learn that violence and threats get you what you want and that a person has only two choices: to be the aggressor or to be the victim. They also learn that victims are to blame for the violence they experience and when people hurt others, they do not get in trouble. They learn that people who love you are allowed to hurt you and that unequal or unhealthy relationships are to be expected or are normal. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3887080/)
Speaking after the sentencing of Greg Fertuck, Jo-Anne Dusel said that when an abuser is allowed to escalate their behaviour with few consequences, they become emboldened. She feels there are many factors contributing to the high rates of abuse in Saskatchewan including the prevalence of rural communities which lack services and confidentiality, and the gun culture, at the heart of it all, there is an attitude problem. She said there are deeply ingrained beliefs of misogyny, traditional gender roles, and disrespect toward women in this province. It’s a place where sexist or vulgar slogans, jokes and remarks are normalized. Dusel said these attitudes pave the path toward more serious violence against women.
Chief McBride shared that in 2023, Saskatoon Police responded to 720 incidents of Intimate partner violence, which is on average two calls every day. Statistics show that only 30 percent of incidents are reported to police, therefore doing the math presumes a more accurate number of intimate partner violence incidents to be 2400.
FSIN Third Vice Chief Aly Bear, who walked and spoke afterward said, “We need to stop normalizing abusing our women and children. We need to break the silence. Let’s stop the violence. Let’s support each other.”
Donny Ironchild, Chief of Little Pine First Nation, shares the belief. “Women shouldn’t have to live their lives in fear,” he told the crowd. “This is where we need to teach our young men. All you older men in here need to step up and teach your young men, [they are] not the boss of anyone else.”
Ironchild encouraged people to teach their daughters to reach out. Let them know that they do not have to hide and keep silent, he said echoing Naytowhow, who said at the start of the walk, “Speak out, stand up, you are not alone.”
To those who turn a blind eye or think it is a private matter that should be dealt with behind closed doors, Mariann Rich’s comment to the media is fitting. “It’s not private. It is everybody’s business. We have to get past ‘it’s not our business,” she said in response to the announcement last fall that Saskatchewan had double the national average of intimate partner violence and the highest rate of intimate partner homicides. Rich’s sister Shirley Parkinson was murdered by her husband in 2014.
Balon would agree. Victims often feel isolated and unable to call for help because they do not think they will be believed. She said if you see it, call. If you hear it, call. Be their voice. “Can you hear me? We’re here, we’re all here. It’s time.”